Chloe posts

The Pressure to be Perfect

In 2019, I’m convinced that looking after our appearance could be a full-time job. We live in a world where the way we look is of increasing importance – we must have a toned hairless body, a full face of makeup, manicures, pedicures, balayage straightened-then-curled hair, tanned, blemish-free skin, white teeth, eyelash extensions, Instagram-ready eyebrows, and the perfect outfit, with shoes to match. Society’s beauty standards are excruciatingly high, for all genders, and they’re practically impossible to live up to.

Perfection (or our idea of what perfection is) may seem desirable, but the truth is that striving for perfection can be exhausting, and it is difficult to maintain in the long run. Often when we spend too long trying to make something perfect, it can stop us from enjoying the activity, or we can spend hours agonizing over it, and picking out flaw after flaw. Nothing is perfect, and the definition of ‘perfect’ is highly subjective, so pursuing perfection can be a waste of time.

This can be a hard pill to swallow, especially for the perfectionists amongst us, but constantly pursuing perfection can prevent us from enjoying life. It’s better to start living our lives now, rather than waiting until we feel that we are the perfect version of ourselves. In reality, the way we look is actually quite irrelevant, and it doesn’t matter half as much as we think it does. Our bodies are just bodies; they’re just things that kart us around the world, that allow us to jump, walk, talk and enjoy life. It’s important to appreciate our bodies for everything that they can do for us, rather than hating them because they don’t measure up to an impossibly high ideal.

The message that ugly is bad and pretty is good has been transmitted to us from a young age, so it’s a difficult myth to debunk in our heads. In Disney films, the villains are portrayed as evil and ugly, whereas the princesses are presented as kind-hearted, with an otherworldly type of beauty. Because of the messages we receive from society about the way we are expected to look, we can feel compelled to seek out treatments and enhancements to improve our appearance, so we can finally become ‘perfect’ and eradicate our insecurities. Perhaps society’s standards are so unobtainable for a reason. If society made people feel comfortable with themselves, we wouldn’t feel that we have spend money on improving ourselves, and it wouldn’t be good for business. Though we can use things like makeup and beauty treatments to express ourselves and increase our confidence, it can quickly become harmful if we begin to feel that we’re not good enough without it. Even if we don’t look like supermodels, actresses and popstars, we are good enough, and we are completely fine as we are. The way we look is only one tiny fragment of who we are, and though it can be difficult to remember this sometimes, it is not the only thing that matters.

 

Lizzy posts

Establishing a routine: Approaching big life changes with stability and mindfulness.

It’s no secret that major life changes can be a struggle for our mind to process. These changes can come in many shapes and sizes: moving to a new country, a bereavement, changing jobs, graduating from university, or even something as minor as taking on a new hobby, project or interest.

When changes like this happen, it’s important to be aware and conscious of the potential toll it can take on our mental health. With a mindful attitude, we can gently introduce these changes into our routines so that they don’t put our coping mechanisms out of whack.

Let’s get into the nitty gritty of this somewhat abstract idea. Take graduating University as an example – this is a major shift in day to day life: moving back home, often back in with parents/family members, and most importantly no longer having something to work towards, deadlines to meet or a routined lecture timetable to follow.

While on the surface this freedom is exciting, our minds can struggle with the lack of purpose that we feel in this limbo between education and working life. The same goes for the feeling of being in between jobs, or in a brand new place – the well practiced and deeply internalised routines and daily goals that we are used to are totally shifted.

It can take some time for this to sync in and for us to start to feel a little lost, which is why whilst our routines and norms are changing, it is important that they are not lost altogether. Being mindful of the changes we are going through can go a long way towards benefitting the way in which we cope with them.

To go back to the University example, upon graduation, despite not needing to wake up at a good time, get dressed and go to class, it is important to establish a different routine. For example, we must still maintain a healthy sleep schedule, wake up at a good time to start the day and set daily goals, whether it be go for a walk, read a chapter of a book or apply to one job per day.

What must not be lost is the determination to accomplish something every day, no matter how small. If you’re feeling a bit lost and unsure of what your daily goals are, try making a to do list for each day, ticking things off it can give a sense of achievement and purpose for the day.

Overall, it’s important to be fully aware of the impacts that big changes can have on a smaller scale, if we become capable of acknowledging these impacts, we also become capable of changing our behaviours so we are better prepared to cope with them.

 

Lizzy posts

Help to keep us open!

Over the past year, the Rainbow Heron Cafe has helped many people throughout Sheffield and the surrounding area with issues surrounding mental health. As I know from my visit to the cafe, many members said that Rainbow Heron had filled a void that existed in Sheffield, being one of the only cafes of its kind in the area.

Rainbow Heron is a safe space for people to feel comfortable discussing their thoughts and experiences with understanding and like minded people. There have been many opportunities for expression through art, movement, discussion and many other outlets throughout the time the cafe has been open.

We are now looking to you to help us to keep doing good work. We want the opportunity to keep helping the people who have been visiting us, and to remain an active member of the Sheffield Community.

If you could spare anything you have to our just giving Just Giving Page it would mean the world and will help a charity so close to the hearts of many people in the Sheffield Community.

Thank You!